Monday, February 04, 2013

Birth Without Fear and Other Facebook Friends

"Mamas, try not to regret your births too much. They are part of who you are. We learn and grow through our pregnancies, births and motherhood. They help shape who we become. It's OK if you did not like your natural birth. It's OK if you wish you had one. It's OK if you had a cesarean, It's OK if you don't want another one. It's OK if you had an epi and liked it. It's OK if you had one and didn't like it. It's OK if you didn't have one and wish you did. How you feel about your birth is OK, but please be easy on yourself. You are wonderful, strong, courageous and admirable. You created life. You have so much to offer other women and this world. You are amazing." {Birth Without Fear}
Why rewrite something that is as perfectly said as the statement above? This, BWF page is one I follow on Facebook. 91 of my 500 friends also follow BWF. You are probably one of the 91!  My heart read this and prayed, "Mama's be easy on yourself. Mama's-to-be search the blog linked below to find your own path into motherhood. Even for women who are not mama's (by choice or not), there is much to learn here, we can teach each other much along our journey. I know wonderful midwifes and doulas who have not given birth. Their heart is towards new life, towards reborn women, new born babies, reborn lives. Their hearts are towards a healing touch. Is that you? Then you are a birth warrior!"
Below is just a random thing I saw on Facebook tonight. It's not a favorite Bible verse, it's not so super profound. But it took me almost 50 years to grasp the concept.  I recently explained it to a friend, like this the other day,
"Look at your child. Stop and really look at her. Imagine that your child is in your situation. What would you wish your child to do? How would you counsel your child?
Knowing your great love for your child, you would want the best outcome, you want this little one to experience all the joy, success, health and happiness the world has to offer.
Be THAT same good parent to yourself. Love yourself THAT way. Tell yourself these unconditional loving things, without judgement, without reservation! Console yourself, allow for tears, take a timeout, take a nap, play, make friends, don't fight, say, "no", say, "thank you", say, "please".
My healing started when I was in a Bible study. The Holy Bible taught me who I am in Jesus. God launched me as only he could.  What does the Bible Say About Who I am in Christ? Here are 147 Bible verses starting with, "But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light." 1Peter2:9
I am grateful for all the good people on Facebook. It confirms God's love for you and me. If you let it.
I leave you with this blessing. Another something else I found on Facebook.  I was the doula at the birth of Levi, the son of Kellee and Steven Ybarra. Steven has won many music awards. I follow him on facebook. He recently finished this video for his song, Best Days!!!  I especially love it because the whole family is in it! Yes, that woman is Kellee, Steven's REAL wife, and of course his real children, Levi and Eliana.
I love that I was born into a large family. Having seven sisters and brothers, three sister-in-laws, two brother-in-laws, step sisters, step brothers, a dozen nephews and nieces, prepared me well for being a doula. Prepared me in a surprising way. No, it's not because lots of babies were born into our family. Well that but something else.  The love that overflows in our family is easy to take to the new mommy I will meet tomorrow, the family I will meet next month.  The love that flows out of our (not at all perfect, very flawed) family has been just the tip of the iceberg. The almost 400 families I have served as a birth doula are always in my heart and sometimes on facebook - what a blessing! Wow.
Make these the best days of your life!

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous11:12 PM

    Rosie, you are such an inspiration. I somehow needed to read this tonight, to see from your wise perspective how beautiful life can be. If we let it. Thank you for the love and passion you so freely share and so fiercely stand for. I wish I could sit down and visit with you again, listen to your crazy stories and borrow some more knowledge. You are one of a kind in my book, and always bring a smile to my face. Love you my Super "Forever" Doula! -Heather


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