2014 Births & Blessings

Photograph by Robin Baker

I haven't blogged in awhile but I have kept true to my old fashioned journal. Also I confess my Facebook addiction eats up way too much of my time. I've missed blogging. In these final days of 2014 I would like to share a few important memories that I also would like to document and hey maybe someone out there will read this and feel some connection to the story or to me or to their present situation. Isn't that why we write and read, to feel connected? I love to read. I love to feel like the writer is writing about me or I like to read things that stretch me and make me learn or help me to examine my beliefs. Maybe a belief out there that I never really looked at, that is no longer necessary, maybe holding me back or causing me and those I love pain. Maybe there is a belief out there that wants to bring me more joy, love, peace. My wish is that you have more of all that in 2015!

...When did I write that last paragraph? What interrupted me? I'm laughing out loud. I've learned to laugh at myself more, at my attention deficit disorder and my 'too many to count' imperfections. Hold on, off I go to gather my journals. I can't find my leather one. It's precious and full of birth stories and I am sure it will surface. But I found other pieces of stories to share with you. As I look forward to 2015 I want to give thanks to God for all the ways He blessed me in 2014. When I sit under the stars some nights and talk to God here is the abbreviated thank you list, "Thanks for my grandchildren, my children, my parents, my siblings, my nephews and nieces, extended family and friends near and far, a roof over my head, my dogs, cat, chickens, for my day job and for calling me to birth work, to Doula work!"

This year I want to thank every woman who invited me to accompany her on her birthing journey. Thank you to her partner who welcomed me with open arms and who allowed me to witness some tearfully tender, intimate, moments between the two of you. In our prenatal time I heard about your love story, sometimes your first kiss, sometimes your proposal, but always in the partners words, in that voice she loves. I love those prenatal hours when we can talk about everything under the sun. Where we came from. Where we're going. Our most painful and passionate moments. I know we won't be able to speak like this in labor. Labor is when we breathe. We speak softly and use words sparingly. Our hearts are already entwined. We share looks and hands signals so as not to disturb the birth process. Your beloved.

Thank you to each baby who I was honored to meet on that special birth day! Thank you Scout, Fletcher, Ember, Anna, Faith, Elijah, Donovan, Olivia, Brielle, Bodie, Liam & Elena (vaginal born twins), Mason, Cameron and Alexis. I'll love you forever!

I was surprised at so many turns during each of your journeys earth side! You taught me so much! Some of you came so fast that I have needed to re-examine my prenatal time spent preparing parents for the normally long stages of labor when they can (usually) linger on their favorite walking trail, and carry on and "live life until you get the urge to push". One of you came when I stepped out of the hospital room into the hallway for a moment. I was talking to your grandma on the phone, reassuring her that all was well. It was meant to be that you would come with just your mama and daddy together with your nurse. After all your sister had been born to a room full of family and you wanted to be more private. It was special because daddy had just returned from his deployment. He'd missed so much but he didn't miss your quick-as-a-wink birth!

You all brought me to my knees. I heard your mama's heart, her deep desire to birth you vaginally, or naturally, or standing on her head!  Hahaha! got cha there! Oh how I wanted what she wanted!! I knew your story would go down in history, I like to call it "herstory" because it is your mama's story. Your birth story will be told and retold for generations and we all know that your mama is a brave, strong, birthing warrior, fearless, and so confident! But as ancient woman-to-woman care made good sense to her, she paid me well to help ensure this day would be all she hoped. Not all went as planned. Three of you were born by Cesarean birth; one emergency Cesarean, one repeat Cesarean and one primary Cesarean. I firmly believe that there is a time and a season for everything under heaven. And I believe there is a reason that you, my three Cesarean babies, were born this way. Not what your mama expected or wanted but in that decision she was born a mommy, answering your call for help as she always will. We know you did your very best to come safely into our arms and I know your mom and daddy did their best to help you come in the safest way for you and I know I did my best so that is that, you came in the perfect way for you!

Each of your mama's was, in my mind, holding on to the hand of God, calling to her God and exhibiting supernatural powers when doing the work of birthing you! I saw wonders, miracles, the unthinkable happen before my eyes. Then you were here, in her arms.

Statistics don't mean much when I consider your individual labors, births, families, and your very unique and special personalities. But just for the books 81% of you were vaginal births, 19% were Cesarean births. Of those born vaginally 25% of you were naturally born and 56% of your mama's had some form of medical intervention, like medication to start or speed up labor or medication for pain, or artificial rupture of membranes, or assisted birth with suction. Two of you were born at Birth Centers, Fourteen of you were born in hospitals, Two of you were Vaginal Births After Cesarean (one VBAC, one VBA2C). Four of you were caught by a midwife. One of my clients this year was a repeat client who I've had the pleasure of being invited to all three of her children's births! You can't imagine how special this birth was! Baby was born into water, caught by her Mama. I'm looking forward to two repeat clients (that I know of) in 2015!

One of your birth notes read:

 Text @ 10:30PM, waters leaking.  2AM phone chat. Mom sounds great!  It sounds like Dad is up and keeping her company.  Surges 6 mins. apart, still short. Walking, hands & knees, watching TV, showered. Didn't like ball, doesn't want touching. Will try heating pad. Very exciting happy day! Baby born @ 6:16AM

Even after I arrived at your home, sometime between 3AM and 4AM, your mom was acting typical of early labor. But it was her desire to go to hospital. I have learned to always do what a birthing woman wants, her instincts are usually right on! We got there just in time!

Thanks for sharing this walk down memory lane with me. Thank you for remembering to send prayers my way throughout the coming year. I will do the same for you. Thank you to my teachers, besides the Mama's and Babies. Thanks to teachers like my Doula Sisters (you know who you are), my Midwife friends like Joni Nichols, Nicole Morales, Jewel Hernandez, Thanks for the Rebozo training Gena Kirby, I cannot say how many times I reference your work Anna Verwaal, and Karen Strange, and Gail Tully of Spinning Babies, and Pam England and Virginia Bobro of Birthing From Within. Mostly thank you to my mom who showed me when she carried each of my seven siblings, in her belly and in her arms, how to be a soft, loving, strong and wise woman and mother, how pregnancy is a privilege, birth is a miracle, and life is a gift.

Happy New Year All! Here are some moments from 2014

My mom and me

My daughter and grandson

My son and grandson

Matthew Vincent Phillips - Birth Story

Last week at this time I was in Red Bank, New Jersey at my grandson's 2nd birthday. How time flys! It seems like yesterday that Matthew was born. Below is his birth story in this grandma's words. I am sharing with my daughters permission.

 

March 9, 2012 - Friday evening Andrea and I went on a walk. It was a cold night. We walked to the Wawa, got a very delicious hot chocolate and went down to the beach.  The moon was coming up over the Jersey Shore. The night was dark, our spirits were high.  This was the day that docs had planned to take Matthew via Cesarean.  Andrea told them, "No thank you!". She was glad to be waiting for labor to start spontaneously and for Matthew to pick his birthday.  Over the last few days Andrea seemed to be having more and more moments of heavy endorphin highs, she was euphoric and soft.  There were also moments of painful heavy baby, heavy body, exhaustion, sleepiness, fear, and then she’d come full circle back to bravery. Andrea is so ready to meet her baby. We were almost back to the house when Andrea made a surprised sound. Then she told me she felt something grind against her pubic bone, or more like a clunk feeling. She hoped that something wasn’t wrong. I knew that it was very right. All that Rebozo jiggling I’d been doing to get baby off Mom’s pubic bone may have helped.  Matthew was getting curious to meet his mommy and daddy. He was ready to meet the world!

Tonight Michael and Andrea were invited to a friend’s 30th birthday bash.  Andrea didn’t feel up to it.  Michael’s friends wanted him to take the Limo to dinner with them.  Michael opted to drive himself.  Turns out that was a good decision.

Michael came home early at 10:30PM Andrea’s water leaked at 11:40PM

March 10, 2012 - At midnight Andrea woke me up to tell me about her leaking water and contractions.   I ask her how close the contractions are.   She says, “twenty minutes”.  I say, “Go back to bed”, trying to act casual, nonchalant and knowing that any sleep, even 10 minutes, could give Andrea the energy reserves she would need to get through her fast approaching labor…I didn’t know how fast!

Michael came to get me out of bed just as I was drifting off.  Andrea’s contractions have moved from 20 to 15 to 10 to 5 minutes apart in 45 minutes.  She is vomiting.  She gets in the warm tub.  It’s not long before she wants to go to the hospital.  She wants to go NOW!!!  I think she says she is going to call a Taxi because Michael is taking too long packing their bags.  I was trying to dry Andrea off and dress her and pack my stuff too.  At first I thought we could delay her and stay home longer like in some labors.  NOT this one!  Andrea was acting like this labor was moving precipitously fast and it was just very furiously powerful.  We (Michael and I) were caught off guard.  Yes, me, the doula, was caught off guard!  Birth is full of surprises.  Each baby, each labor, each mama has a different experience, a different story.  No two are alike.

I believe a woman when she says something in labor.  Rule #1 “LISTEN TO MOM”.  So we tried to comply and get Andrea to the hospital as quick as possible.  We got to hospital at 3AM.  Although Andrea was one centimeter dilated, I knew she was having a big baby and her body was doing a tremendous job getting him out.  She was naturally making some powerful contractions!!!  One of my worries had been that Andrea’s labor would be really long.  I see that often with big babies.  I’d been praying for hers to be quick.  Well, Matthew was not wasting anytime, he was on his way!  In two hours Andrea was four centimeters, then two hours later 7 centimeters. By 9AM Andrea was EIGHT centimeters dilated!!! She was fully effaced and Matthew was -1 station.

Andrea had wanted an epidural as soon as we arrived at the hospital.  When waiting for the anesthesiologist she was panicky and wanted a cesarean now!  I reassured her that the epidural would make her comfortable.  Michael also worked to calm her and he encouraged her to try and avoid surgical birth.  Finally her Epidural was in place.  But it wasn’t providing complete coverage. Again Andrea wavered and considered a cesarean.  The anesthesiologist came back and got her comfortable.  In most cases an epidural slows labor.  Not this time.  Andrea’s body was a birthing machine!  Meanwhile Michael was able to get some sleep.  Andrea was un-nerved by the shaking that was happening to her.  The hormones of birth often cause women to get the shakes, it feels like uncontrollable shivering or rattling.  It’s discerning.  Even with an epidural, it’s a very powerful time and a lot of work.  It helped when I read the Hypnobirthing Affirmations. Then Michael read the Rainbow Relaxation Script.  That really got Andrea relaxed and glowing!!  She said she was high.  The sun came up on March 10, 2012.  Andrea had brushed her teeth with Michael’s help. We brushed her hair and, what else, she put on her make-up!  All the while she was having wonderful, beautiful, powerful, contractions.

I was sure she was progressing.  Maybe baby would be zero station by noon or mama would be 9 centimeters. As long as these docs saw progress they were happy.  They were very conservative surgeons (sometimes we forget that an OBGYN is a trained surgeon) and they were section happy.  Numerous docs had told Andrea she should schedule a C-section.  They described shoulder dystocia in vivid, graphic detail.  The doc’s had scared Michael and Andrea for months now.  One doc, the one we saw that Monday at the biophysical, said to Andrea, “You have a generous pelvis”.  But then he said what must have been in her file, “cesarean recommended”.  The doc that admitted Andrea to the hospital tonight said, “Baby’s head isn’t too big, he may be 7 lbs.” That was encouraging but in the end the docs stick to protocol and stick together.

11AM Saturday, March 10, 2012

Even though Andrea’s labor had moved fast, in these last two hours, Andrea had not made the progress that met hospital standard protocol. That was all it took for the doc to make a strong recommendation for cesarean section.  Andrea and Michael asked everyone including me to leave the room so they could talk.

I LOVE THAT! I love that Andrea took her power into her hands. I so respected whatever this strong Mama decided.

Matthew Vincent Phillips was born via Cesarean Section at 1:56PM 3/10/12. He weighed 10 pounds, 11.7 ounces. He was 23 ½ inches long.   Andrea recovered quickly. Matthew nursed smartly.  They all fell in love like never before, like they could’ve never imagined.  Madly in love.  Blissfully in love.

One of my favorite memories from Matthew’s birth day is when I was resting on the convertible

Hospital bed while Michael was comforting Andrea.  As she labored he would kiss her or I should say, “They would share a kiss”.  That kiss was so sweet and so powerful!  The love oozed and I was actually embarrassed to be there.

After note: I didn’t feel like a doula at my daughters birthing time.  It might be compared to doulas who give birth, they are not in their doula brain, they are in their strong mama brain or maybe staying outside their brain altogether.   I was 100% the mother of the new mommy; in my mothering skin.  Yes, the whole woman, with her life experience as a birth doula, as a woman who has given birth, was fully present. But I was a mom. First.  Always.

This is just bits and pieces of what actually happened. Nancy Phillips and Joe Phillips were there and have their story.  Matthew has his memories.  We all have our version of the time around Matthew’s birth day, the day Michael became a daddy, the day my baby girl became a mommy. This is one version – my version. Happy Birthday Matthew! Love, Gamma Rosie

  

A newborn babe brings

light to the cottage,

Warmth to the hearth

And joy to the soul,

For wealth is family,

And family is wealth.

Rainbows

I am happy to announce the birth of Hannah Ruth Baker on November 29, 2012. Hannah's was my first rainbow birth as a doula. Hannah was born into water at home and into her mom's hands at 9PM the day before the one year birthday anniversary of her twin brothers, Henry and Elijah, who were still born, born to heaven on November 30, 2011.

These baby's that come after the heartbreak of loss and that bring new hope, promise of a bright future, have come to be called rainbow babies. Hannah's mom says it best, "Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope."

I thought, as did Mama Robin, that Hannah would come in December. I joked that she should come on my birthday 12/3 or on the much notorious 12/12/12! The morning of 11/29 we all thought Robin was having warm up practice contractions. It was throwing things off balance, very disconcerting to think that Hannah could possibly come so close to her brothers birthday, maybe even on their birthday. What was God doing, I asked myself. And I prayed.

9:07AM text from Robin: Stronger, not closer. Backache and feel like need to pee with them.

I got kind of jumpy since Robin has such quick births.  I can testify to that since I've been Robin's doula four other times. I wanted to go up to Temecula and be with Robin. But she reassured me that they were plenty spaced out and didn't want me to come up for these "multip braxtons"* as she called them. Robin even timed a few for me. They were still 15 minutes apart.

In a few hours it became clear that Hannah and God had picked this day for her special birthday. I passed the afternoon in my office while Robin stayed busy preparing and delivering a new mommy's encapsulated placenta. Robin and her mom, Ruth, were also sewing up a storm. They finished little Hannah's coral and turquoise curtains and dust ruffle, then at 2PM Robin and her mom did Robin's belly cast!

Robin shared something really special - in a text of course.

"Really intense one while driving to deliver placenta pills. Was thinking of twins. Boom, huge rainbow during contraction. Awww"

1:05PM text from Robin: Last cntrx could feel cervix opening. Feels like pulling cramp inside. So cool!

Rosie: I'm jealous

Robin: Lmao. We are so weird! 

Robin: More mucous plug just now ....a red clump

Rosie: Love the play-by-play : ) What's for dinner tonight? How far apart now?

Question:Who could be texting about mucous, bloody show and dinner in one sentence?
Answer: A Doula

By 5PM Robin couldn't type or her text didn't make much sense so I knew it was time to head over. I was on the I-15 headed north when Robin's text to me read, "That one hurt, lasted 1.5 minutes"  Next text was that the hot pack felt really good on her back.  That's when I realized that she was in her doula head. And she is a great doula! So now what could I, her doula, do for her? What could I do for Robin when she knew comfort measures, what works, what doesn't, all so well?
I would hold the space for her. I would love her three excited little boys! Heck, even if I did nothing Robin would know that my love for her was present. I could pray. I could always pray. I prayed all the way up to Temecula!

When I walked into the house Grandma Ruth had the three boys lined up in front of her. She was having a serious talk with them. Something about mama having the baby and if grandma asked them to do something she would need cooperation.  "What is cooperation?" asked Owen.

I went to find Robin.  First I found Michael in the kitchen on the laptop finishing up some work. After chatting with Michael a bit Robin sauntered down the stairs. "Rosie were you trying to miss this birth? I'm 8 centimeters!" She was in the cutest bikini and looked like a model, not at all in labor land. Robin did some contractions there in the kitchen, leaning on the counter, while giving some last minute directions to her team. I was familiar with Robin's busy efficient labor routine. I told the midwife, Caydee, "She'll fold clothes and stay busy until she gets in the water, then the baby will come out." I may have been thrown off by her nonchalant seemingly comfortable labor if I didn't know Robin so well.

When Robin did go upstairs to get into the tub everything slowed way down. The energy was shifting. Michael was reading night time stories to the boys and singing to them like he does every night. His singing to his children always makes me cry. Soon the boys came to kiss Robin goodnight while she labored in the warm tub. The boys were all chatty about who wanted to be woken up for the birth. After the boys were tucked in Robin and Mike spent alone time while we (Andrea, Caydee, Victoria, Ruth, Erika and I) made ourselves sparse downstairs. Andrea Meyer was the senior midwife, the backup for Michelle Freund. Michelle was out of town. Caydee was Michelle's assistant who has a relationship with Robin so she acted as the main midwife that night. Victoria was the photographer and then there was just Ruth, Robin's mom, Erika, Robin's sister, and me, the doula.

Soon Robin was sounding more active and we joined them in the bathroom. Robin has one of those big, very roomy bathrooms with a large deep tub.  Mike seemed pretty cool for being watched by six women encircled around he and his bride. He was focused on Robin, they were cheek to cheek. Our total focus and attention was on Robin too. The music was lovely. The stage was set. It was 8:30PM.

7-18-13 Today I will try to finish this birth story.
As I read my words above I wondered why I had not finished Hannah's birth story. I believe that I got emotional and it was too hard. It was at this point in Robin's labor that she cried and Mike wiped her tears. It's not unusual for a woman to cry at this point in labor.

But Robin's tears were for her twin boys. The last time she'd been pushing she was pushing out Henry and Elijah. And it broke my heart to remember that day. I held those precious boys and grieved with Robin and Mike. The music played away in the background. All I could think of is that while honoring the twins we could, we would. choose. to. honor. this. new. life. We would be grateful, be present. I prayed for words to share with Robin. To make it okay. But she was more whole, more knowing, more strong than I could know. Our Father God was with her. Robin took her time experiencing her grief as long as she could while not delaying Hannah's moment to shine. And shine she did!

In the steamy bathroom Hannah slipped into the world, into the tub filled with warm water, into Robin's hands. Into a room filled with witnesses that were changed forever. It was 9PM.

Hannah meets her Mommy

Then she greets her Daddy

Time stood still as it does when we take the time to notice natures miracles. To me time stands still at each sunset and sunrise...and at each birth. Birth commands our attention. Everyone reading this may also want to take a moment. Take a deep breath. It's called The Birth Pause. Moments like Hannah's birth deserve a moment, a prayer. Mommies and babies need to catch their breath, both literally and figuratively, after the journey of birth. Soon enough time moves on.

It seems like I ran around the rest of the night in a fog, trying to be helpful and not be in the way. I made Robin's herbal bath and fixed up some light snack for her that she never ate. She was enraptured by her beautiful, perfect, chubby, pink baby GIRL! Of course we knew Hannah was a girl but we weren't prepared for the full reality of her. It's like you know when your pregnant you are having a baby but meeting baby face to face is always such a shock, a delight, a miracle!!! 

Michael got out his guitar and sang to Hannah. Then Robin and Mike slipped into their bed and took turns holding their daughter. Caydee did the newborn exam. Hannah weighed 7lbs1oz.

Then Robin and Hannah went back into a fresh tub of warm water, a herbal bath that was good medicine for healing Robin's perineum. 

It is 1AM  and I am the last one to slip into the night and leave the new family to nurse and sleep. Guess which one Mike did and which one Robin did.

Today you will find Robin busy juggling her three fun boys and her toddling laughing Hannah. Along with motherhood Robin has a busy Placenta Encapsulation business, a Birth Photography business, Doula clients calling and she is a part time dental hygienist. *Whew*

Here is Hannah's birth featured on Birth Without Fear website.

http://www.birthblessingsphotography.com/blog/

Hannah & Rosie Time

https://www.facebook.com/BirthBlessingsPhoto

11/4/13 After Thoughts
Now that Hannah's first birthday is fast approaching I am thinking more and more about Hannah, her mommy-my friend, and the gift of knowing them, the blessing of being their Doula.

Happy Birthday Hannah!

Life can be bumpy, but when I consider the blessing poured out and received into my heart each time I am honored to attend birth I am speechless. Not quite actually, as you can see here I am not speechless. But finding words is challenging. In all honesty I am often ashamed of any weak moment that I might forget my fortune and whine or complain about the bumps. Welcoming sweet wet brilliant babies earthside is as close to heaven as I can imagine.  I thank God for calling me to birth work.


 *Multip definition

Birth News

Robin laboring with Owen 2007

I love being a birth doula! I love my clients! I love being on-call! I even feel out of sorts when I am not on-call.  I think my revised schedule of taking one or two families every month is perfect for me. This allows me to look forward to my prenatal and postpartum meetings, still see my grandchildren and my large extended family and attend some doula circles and some continuing education (Rebozo, Spinningbabies, Neonatal Resuscitation).

I would love to share with you the last few birth stories and some photos of the amazing, inspirational families I meet! But the premise of doula work is that it's private. "It's Your Body, Your Baby, Your Birth" is not just a empty quote. It is her birth. Her's to process, grieve, celebrate, revel in, share intimately or with the world! It's the new Mommy's story. She made a baby, a whole new world, she made herstory!

If I attended your birth please let me know if you would like to share your birth story here (with my two readers) or share the birth story I wrote here. Or if I can link your webpage and your story ~ that would be nice too.

I will share just a bit, scattering the details so these stories could be anyone's.  Labor Day is a good day to labour in childbirth, rightly so don't you think? Last year and again this year I attended Labor Day births.  This year a first time mom had her baby in 6 hrs. 20 minutes. Her grace, her delicately selected, sweet, soft words were magical. At one point I was across the Birth Center suite as she labored in the warm tub, encouraging her baby, urging him with loving words to come into her arms. Only the midwife, who was by moms side, heard her words. I could see this midwife was moved. I only wished I'd been within earshot.

I attended a homebirth the next day. I got the call at like 4AM, arrived at  4:30AM and baby was born at 4:44AM. I am so glad that I had spent a day the week before listening to mom's fears and doing some prodromal, prelabor contractions with her. When her contractions did not change and it was getting late, mom took a hot shower, we did some side lying release and I tucked her in bed with a hot water bottle on her back. She slept through the night and I went home in the morning. A week later I barely had time to say a few words of encouragement and BABY WAS HERE!

I especially enjoyed interacting with the older sibling at this homebirth. The 3 year old big sister was such a delightful, sweet and busy birth attendant as the sun rose on her baby sisters birth day!

A few days ago I attended another first time Mommy. She gave birth in a Birth Center that does not do water births. The midwives do not have permission to catch babies in the water. They have nice labor tubs that women can use to labor in (Moms LOVE the warm water!). Then they move the woman to the bed for the birth. The birth should not happen in the water. Last night this FANTASTICALLY laboring woman surprised the midwife when her baby almost slipped out in the water - Oops. The midwife had stepped out of the room, thinking the mom would be pushing a little longer. I noticed a good size caput of baby slip out during the next contraction and called the midwife back. The mom stood up and the midwife caught the baby. The midwife handed the baby back to the new Mommy and  Mommy sat back down in the warm water with her baby, cord still attached. Kind of tickles me that it was virtually a water birth. 

Sometimes when I meet with prospective clients in the interview time or meet prenatally with families, I ask them to give some thought to the question, "if you could be born again how would you like to be born?" Some may think I'm silly to ask. Some go on a hunt for their original birth story and then their new birth story (imaginary of course) of choice. It's good to put the question out there. Then now, do you know for yourself how you would like to be born (where, when, with who, etc)?  Ask your unborn baby how he or she would like to be born. Spend evenings, days, weeks asking and see if you don't get a sense of what baby is telling you. These three moms listened...listened to their own story and to their baby's story. It seems as clear as a clear crisp day that all happened just as it was supposed to. ♥

"$100 a sentence and well worth every penny"

It's going to be Eli's first birthday. I'm not Eli's Mama. I didn't carry him in my belly but I know his birthday is coming up without looking at a calendar. I feel it in my bones, his birth day anniversary is coming up.  How do I know? Why do I FEEL it?

I was his mama's doula. For a brief few months I spent time with his papa and his big brother and I fell in love with his mama.  She is a long legged, soft spoken, organic gal. Honest, she is so honest, purely truthful, even with that sweet turned up smile, even when it's not what you want to hear.

We haven't seen each other much since the day Eli was born, but Eli's mom and I think about each other a lot. We have that kind of connection. We emailed back and forth for a few weeks after Eli's birth day. There was one email that especially made my day. It says something about the profession and the value of Doulas. Here's the sweetest words from this powerful beautiful goddess like woman, about me!

You are amazing. I think about what would have gone down without you and can't imagine. I think your rate should be more like "$100 a sentence and well worth every penny". No one would believe it until they lived it.

Here is her birth story, The Day Eli Was Born, written by me, the Doula.

The Day Eli was Born

Dear Eli, I had the honor of meeting you on your birth day. I was there beside your mom as she breathed you down and hollered you out. She barely waited for her doctor to get into the catchers position. She was surprised that without drugs, completely organic, she preferred to birth you on her hands and knees.  Like a tree in the wild she would bend to what nature demanded of her.  After Dr. Cobb caught you he gently slid you between your moms’ legs and into her arms. This is the story of your birth day as I remember it.  I was the doula.

I met your mom, dad and brother in the autumn of 2011. It was a special meeting; today we were focused on you. Your mom had a vision for your birth day. She had selected the best doctor, one who supported gentle, safe, and natural birthing women.  She learned a lot when your big brother, Finn, was born. Since then your mama had studied birth options and learned so much! Your mama was the picture of health, fit in so many ways! Mentally and spiritually balanced, she was emotionally a strong force - that was what I felt when we first met.  I also know that Birth is a teacher. You would teach us all something. I knew your mom’s strength would be tested and I wondered how and when.

The testing happened when your due date passed and your mom was now 42 weeks.  When you came you came quickly but the waiting to meet you was almost unbearable. You and modern medicine didn’t see eye to eye (1744).  We expected you to come around January 4.  That day came and went; ten more days came and went.  Now the doc was getting anxious and wanted to induce you to come on Sunday, January 22^nd.  It was Thursday, the 19^th when I sat with your mom in the front yard of your home talking things over.  We sat in the sun and turned all the possibilities over and over.   Your mom so badly wanted to give you an intervention free, undisturbed, technology free, birth.  Would she decline the medical advice of her doctor? Would she end up inducing you and enter into the medical system? Even if she put off the procedure a few days? Or would you come before Sunday? Would you and your mom be able to accept whatever the stars and universe had determined? It was a tear filled talk. Surrendering to her hot tears your strong mama surrendered to what will be. Would you and your mom bow to whatever came next and make your birth day the celebration of a life time?  We didn’t have to wait long to find out.

The next morning, not 18 hours later, your moms’ surges started. Her contractions were 10 minutes apart all day. At 4PM they changed, not gradually, but almost instantly the contractions were 2 minutes apart.  I got a call from your dad at 4PM. I arrived at the house at 4:30. We got to the hospital at 5PM and you were born at 5:37PM! Wow! When you found that baby chute you really wanted to ride it!

My favorite memories of your birth day were when I walk into the house, down the stairs and find your mom in the tub. Right then your amniotic bag of waters release. Your mom said, “I heard a pop, was that my waters?” I figured it was and noticed that the fresh current of water in the tub was clear, a good sign that you were happy.  Then I remembered how fast 2nd babies can come after the water bag is broken.  That bulging bag of waters that was gently opening the birth canal is gone leaving baby’s hard head to finish the opening process.  As you can imagine, your hard head is much more efficient and since you don’t have the cushion of waters you probably wanted to get out NOW! With the next surge your mom starting making those pushy grunting sounds that are usually such welcome sounds. But a home birth wasn't mom's plan. Off we went.

The car ride to the hospital was what I fondly refer to as “Mr. Toads Wild Ride”.  Your dad was calm and a great driver.  Your mom was on her hands and knees in the back seat of the car.  I was in the passenger seat reminding mom to blow, blow, blow (blowing makes pushing impossible).  Even without actively pushing the contractions were bringing you downward.  I’ve been to over 300 births and have not caught a baby. I know how to catch a baby and thought that day I would catch my first baby - you. I prepared your mom to catch you. I knew she could do it. It would’ve been preferable to just landing on the back seat of the car. Your dad pulled up to the Emergency Entrance to the hospital.  If your mom wished for you to be born at this lovely hospital, then I’d rather it be in a room and not in the parking lot or hallway.  Your mom somehow walked through the hospital doors before the next surge and assumed her hands and knees position right there on the floor in the Emergency Room waiting room.  Soon she was wheeled up to Labor and Delivery and into room 511.  She was checked by a nurse to be 10 centimeters or completely dilated (duh!). You were at station +1.  Wait! Dr. Cobb wasn’t here. The party couldn’t start without Dr. Cobb.  Oh well, it was your party and however, whenever you wanted it to happen was fine with us.  As the nurses did their obligatory admission stuff, your mom breathed, pushed, blew through contractions.  The questions from nurses seemed endless but the distraction was probably why Dr. Cobb was able to arrive and get in his catching position and there you were!

Such a holy moment in time!

The world shifted.

The world paused.

Eli was born!

You were beautiful, pink and chunky. You were quiet and alert, looking at mom for awhile and then meeting dad and grabbing his fingers.  The familiar voices of your parents were calming and you made the transition from your watery world to this side, earth side, seem easy.  Your mom made giving birth look easy too.  No I.V. needed (although they tried AFTER you were born), not one medical thing was done to your mom or you before you were born. She got her organic birth!

Thank you Eli, Robin, Sarah and Finn for allowing me to be a part of your family for this season of new life! I will always cherish these memories and keep you all in my heart and prayers.

Love, Rosie Peterson