Ember's Birth

It was just another day....in birth paradise! Ember was born gently into her mama's hands in a warm tub of water as the witnesses, her midwife, her daddy, her grandmother , her photographer and me the doula quietly, silently, breathed in the holy aire, the sacredness of birth! It seemed God was there too. Time stood still. I was changed. Everyone was. Birth changes the world. Can you feel it? All the babies coming today, even right now, are changing you...changing us...changing me.

It was my honor to attend the birth of Ember. I attended the births of Ember's big sister and brother too. These three little ones, this family, hold a special place in my heart. Watch the video below and you'll fall in love with them too. Each and every birth I attend is so gosh darn special to me! I am so very grateful to Megan for inviting me to be her doula and grateful and humbled to be called to birthings, called to birth work.

Ember's Birth Day from Angelina Lopez on Vimeo.

Megan has had her first baby at a hospital but chose to have her last two babies at Best Start Birth Center. Michelle Kazmier was her wonderful midwife.

Iron in my soul

Rixa says it best in her blog. Open title above linked to a wonderful blog.

Technology in Childbirth - A Fathers Day to Remember

What type of technology is safe for childbirth? If you know me, you know that I question even vaginal exams. Less technology usually means better experience for moms and better outcome for moms and babies. So how could I have recently been swayed into the world of technology!? Yup, its true. Here's how it happened.

I've been the doula twice for this family. Mom and I are more than doula and client, we are friends. Her pregnancy passes uneventfully. We exchange a few emails. She is due end of June but has late babies. I start getting text on my cell phone and we meet for lunch late May. I get more text and I visit the family first week in June. It is a lovely Sunday for a prenatal meeting and lunch with the family. I realize from our face-to-face time that Mom is way-to-busy to have a baby. We talk about going on early maternity leave from work. Then we exchanged more text about slowing down and taking her leave. I learn on facebook and texting that she will go on leave - YAY! Maternity leave starts June 11.

June 13...text reads, "today might be the day, backache, braxton hicks, natural cleansing...". Then, "breaking out the smart water just in case". The cell phone texts start to pick up. Often many times a day we are texting back and forth. Mom experiences a lot of prelabor, one time it turned out to be the flu. Then just when we thought it was real labor her little ones get really sick and labor stops. After all, Mom is needed to clean up barf and pick up meds and make runs to pediatrician. Again, no time to have a baby! Argh.
After June 18th appointment with OBGYN text reads, "...80% effaced, bulging bag of water, lost mucos plug..."

We text some more. One night I sleep through a text that says, "contractions went from 10 to 5 to 3 minutes apart, can't sleep..." I call and get a real live person. "Please call me if it's the real thing...texting is great but please call me when you are in labor."

On Saturday, June 20, Mom gets some bloody show and CALLS me to ask if she should go to Fathers Day barbecue. "Yeah" unless you are too tired. The great thing about family barbecues are that the little ones will be loved, fed and entertained and then tired when they get home. Bloody show does not mean a woman is in labor, it's yet another sign that labor is close. Mom texts me when they are home from bbq, "Home now. Putting boys to bed. Getting hard to walk thru contraction. Hoping quiet and tub will get it going. Stronger but don't last long. Getting a little closer than earlier." Then, "More bloody show". I expected to get a call in the middle of the night. I kept my cell on loud and close to me. Then on Fathers Day, June 21 at 6:37AM I get A TEXT! "Getting really tired of this. I'm in pain and tired...starting to cry." All I read is "cry". I text her back, "I'll be right there". She texts me back, "OK".

It was a beautiful birth! After breakfast (made by Dad on Fathers Day) we walked 2.5 miles. Labor changed, contractions were getting longer. Mom got into her big deep tub (like she always does). Dad took the boys to aunties house and got home just in time to drive mom to hospital. She arrived there at 12:30PM completely dilated. Baby was born at 12:57PM.

My favorite part? Hmmm well that's a hard question.
1)Our walk where we talked about everything under the sun (literally). That's how babys position came up. Mom remembered that he had his hands by his face in the Ultrasound! We discussed how to juggle his nuchal hand out of the way and mom started walking with one foot on curb and one foot on street. We'd done some rebozo before our walk, which may have helped. On the way home from our hike I stopped the car at the bottom of the driveway where we could have a quiet moment of prayer.
2)Getting to the hospital and just being a witness to the miracle of birth. Dad and mom's love for each other and for their baby filled the room, maybe the world. They didn't need a doula, except to text her once in awhile : )

And that is how the technology of cell phone texting became an acceptable childbirth tool for me.

P.S. Mom later told me that she didn't think she was in real labor Sunday morning. When I texted her I was coming she thought, "How nice Rosie is coming to visit". Dad later told me that he didn't think she would've had the baby that day if I hadn't come. They just needed a little encouragement to let go, and have confidence in the process. A few doula tricks of the trade may have helped but we think it was prayer that helped mom relax most.

Doula Client Birth Story Published!

Thanks for writing Steven! It's nice to read a fathers birth story :)
I can only add that you were a wonderful in the moment coach! It sure helped that Kellee was calm, strong and totally in the zone throughout her labor and her sweet quick birth. The most natural, almost homebirth like hospital birth I've ever attended in 200+ ...I love that Mom stayed in her own lacy pink shirt. It can be those little type things that make for such nice intimate births. Have a fun Christmas with Levi! Love, Rosie

See Levi's Delivery, the featured birth story! at http://community.thenestbaby.com/cs/ks/blogs/birth_stories/archive/2008/12/03/kelleeis007-levi-s-birth-story.aspx

The 7 Secrets of Being a Homebirth Dad

Hurray, I've found another great blog! LOVE IT! Above is the link to a lovely midwife from Australia, her blog, her knowledge, her bravery, her humor. You don't want to scroll past this one! Thanks again to Robin Elise Weiss at About.com Guide to Pregnancy/Birth, who pointed me this way - Wow, I've been reading Robin since 1989! Enjoy. -R

Hmmm on a different note, I sure know a lot of women named Robin. I've had a few doula clients named Robin. One has moved to Australia and now lives in Africa (congratulations on your new baby girl!). Some of the coincidences that happen as a doula are funny. One time I had like three Stephanie's at the same time. Once I had clients that were due close together and lived close together. I had to really think about which house I was driving to! Can you imagine me showing up at the wrong home in the middle of the night (when labor always happens)! My boyfriend calls me his personal Thomas Bros (map) or his GPS (global positioning system) because I know my way around so many neighborhoods in San Diego!

Speaking of far off places, I have a doula friend who moved to Israel. I miss my doula friends who move. Another one is in Northern CA and one is in Arizona. I learned so much from my doula clients who were from Newfoundland, Thanks Kevin! I've learned about different music, religions and cultures in my birth travels. I love to hear about the care that women in other cultures receive. I think that American women should receive longer maternity leave and more prenatal rituals.

Here are some of the things I learned about the rituals of India.
The Indian baby shower is called the “godh bharai” in Hindi (“srimanth” in Gujarat, “dohale jewan” in Maharashtra). It is held in the seventh month of the pregnancy. It consists of a dinner party for all relatives and a ceremonious part which in most cases only women attend. Everyone is dressed up almost as for a wedding.The mother-to-be is given a small red dot on her forehead for good luck. Her mother and mother-in-law fill her lap (hence “godh bharai”: “godh” for her lap and “bharna” “to fill”) with gifts that are considered good omens: jewelry, gifts, and one rupee and a quarter rupee coins. Her sister-in-law ties a yellow thread around her right wrist: this “nada chhadi” will protect her and her child from evil spirits.
One couple told me that the women are covered with sweet fragrant flowers and taken into her mothers home where she is fed special foods and cared for diligently. The women goes back to her husband and her home only after her baby can raise his head! Another couple I met was lucky enough to have both grandmas’ take turns coming from India to San Diego to provide the special foods and care for mom postpartum. No postpartum doula could beat that!

What are your family customs around birth, death, marriage? Any daily customs? Mine is to pray. My grandmothers were praying women. I hope to pass this custom on to my children and grandchildren.

Birth brings the world together on many levels. It helped me during my labors and has helped many laboring women to remember all the women giving birth around the world at that moment and to call on the love and support of her ancestors that have given birth before her. Mothers have a special connection. No matter where in the world I travel I am at home around birth. -Rosie

The Other Side of the Glass
Finally! A video for fathers to be. This film about the powerlessness and trauma that fathers experience when they can't protect their partners and babies from violation and abuse during a hospital birth. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVf4rzam0Xo I think it's going to be good.

And it has all my favorite people in it: Michel Odent M.D., Sarah Buckley M.D., Raymond Castellino D.C., Karen Strange C.P.M.
I took Newborn CPR with Karen and I met Raymond at a conference here in San Diego. I read everything by Michel and Sarah too!

The most important thing to remember, and it is touched on in this video, is that THIS IS YOUR BABY! Not the doctors, not the nurses, not the hospitals, not the governments, not your mothers, this precious new baby is all yours.

I hope you are having a very blessed day! -Rosie