Matthew Vincent Phillips - Birth Story

Last week at this time I was in Red Bank, New Jersey at my grandson's 2nd birthday. How time flys! It seems like yesterday that Matthew was born. Below is his birth story in this grandma's words. I am sharing with my daughters permission.

 

March 9, 2012 - Friday evening Andrea and I went on a walk. It was a cold night. We walked to the Wawa, got a very delicious hot chocolate and went down to the beach.  The moon was coming up over the Jersey Shore. The night was dark, our spirits were high.  This was the day that docs had planned to take Matthew via Cesarean.  Andrea told them, "No thank you!". She was glad to be waiting for labor to start spontaneously and for Matthew to pick his birthday.  Over the last few days Andrea seemed to be having more and more moments of heavy endorphin highs, she was euphoric and soft.  There were also moments of painful heavy baby, heavy body, exhaustion, sleepiness, fear, and then she’d come full circle back to bravery. Andrea is so ready to meet her baby. We were almost back to the house when Andrea made a surprised sound. Then she told me she felt something grind against her pubic bone, or more like a clunk feeling. She hoped that something wasn’t wrong. I knew that it was very right. All that Rebozo jiggling I’d been doing to get baby off Mom’s pubic bone may have helped.  Matthew was getting curious to meet his mommy and daddy. He was ready to meet the world!

Tonight Michael and Andrea were invited to a friend’s 30th birthday bash.  Andrea didn’t feel up to it.  Michael’s friends wanted him to take the Limo to dinner with them.  Michael opted to drive himself.  Turns out that was a good decision.

Michael came home early at 10:30PM Andrea’s water leaked at 11:40PM

March 10, 2012 - At midnight Andrea woke me up to tell me about her leaking water and contractions.   I ask her how close the contractions are.   She says, “twenty minutes”.  I say, “Go back to bed”, trying to act casual, nonchalant and knowing that any sleep, even 10 minutes, could give Andrea the energy reserves she would need to get through her fast approaching labor…I didn’t know how fast!

Michael came to get me out of bed just as I was drifting off.  Andrea’s contractions have moved from 20 to 15 to 10 to 5 minutes apart in 45 minutes.  She is vomiting.  She gets in the warm tub.  It’s not long before she wants to go to the hospital.  She wants to go NOW!!!  I think she says she is going to call a Taxi because Michael is taking too long packing their bags.  I was trying to dry Andrea off and dress her and pack my stuff too.  At first I thought we could delay her and stay home longer like in some labors.  NOT this one!  Andrea was acting like this labor was moving precipitously fast and it was just very furiously powerful.  We (Michael and I) were caught off guard.  Yes, me, the doula, was caught off guard!  Birth is full of surprises.  Each baby, each labor, each mama has a different experience, a different story.  No two are alike.

I believe a woman when she says something in labor.  Rule #1 “LISTEN TO MOM”.  So we tried to comply and get Andrea to the hospital as quick as possible.  We got to hospital at 3AM.  Although Andrea was one centimeter dilated, I knew she was having a big baby and her body was doing a tremendous job getting him out.  She was naturally making some powerful contractions!!!  One of my worries had been that Andrea’s labor would be really long.  I see that often with big babies.  I’d been praying for hers to be quick.  Well, Matthew was not wasting anytime, he was on his way!  In two hours Andrea was four centimeters, then two hours later 7 centimeters. By 9AM Andrea was EIGHT centimeters dilated!!! She was fully effaced and Matthew was -1 station.

Andrea had wanted an epidural as soon as we arrived at the hospital.  When waiting for the anesthesiologist she was panicky and wanted a cesarean now!  I reassured her that the epidural would make her comfortable.  Michael also worked to calm her and he encouraged her to try and avoid surgical birth.  Finally her Epidural was in place.  But it wasn’t providing complete coverage. Again Andrea wavered and considered a cesarean.  The anesthesiologist came back and got her comfortable.  In most cases an epidural slows labor.  Not this time.  Andrea’s body was a birthing machine!  Meanwhile Michael was able to get some sleep.  Andrea was un-nerved by the shaking that was happening to her.  The hormones of birth often cause women to get the shakes, it feels like uncontrollable shivering or rattling.  It’s discerning.  Even with an epidural, it’s a very powerful time and a lot of work.  It helped when I read the Hypnobirthing Affirmations. Then Michael read the Rainbow Relaxation Script.  That really got Andrea relaxed and glowing!!  She said she was high.  The sun came up on March 10, 2012.  Andrea had brushed her teeth with Michael’s help. We brushed her hair and, what else, she put on her make-up!  All the while she was having wonderful, beautiful, powerful, contractions.

I was sure she was progressing.  Maybe baby would be zero station by noon or mama would be 9 centimeters. As long as these docs saw progress they were happy.  They were very conservative surgeons (sometimes we forget that an OBGYN is a trained surgeon) and they were section happy.  Numerous docs had told Andrea she should schedule a C-section.  They described shoulder dystocia in vivid, graphic detail.  The doc’s had scared Michael and Andrea for months now.  One doc, the one we saw that Monday at the biophysical, said to Andrea, “You have a generous pelvis”.  But then he said what must have been in her file, “cesarean recommended”.  The doc that admitted Andrea to the hospital tonight said, “Baby’s head isn’t too big, he may be 7 lbs.” That was encouraging but in the end the docs stick to protocol and stick together.

11AM Saturday, March 10, 2012

Even though Andrea’s labor had moved fast, in these last two hours, Andrea had not made the progress that met hospital standard protocol. That was all it took for the doc to make a strong recommendation for cesarean section.  Andrea and Michael asked everyone including me to leave the room so they could talk.

I LOVE THAT! I love that Andrea took her power into her hands. I so respected whatever this strong Mama decided.

Matthew Vincent Phillips was born via Cesarean Section at 1:56PM 3/10/12. He weighed 10 pounds, 11.7 ounces. He was 23 ½ inches long.   Andrea recovered quickly. Matthew nursed smartly.  They all fell in love like never before, like they could’ve never imagined.  Madly in love.  Blissfully in love.

One of my favorite memories from Matthew’s birth day is when I was resting on the convertible

Hospital bed while Michael was comforting Andrea.  As she labored he would kiss her or I should say, “They would share a kiss”.  That kiss was so sweet and so powerful!  The love oozed and I was actually embarrassed to be there.

After note: I didn’t feel like a doula at my daughters birthing time.  It might be compared to doulas who give birth, they are not in their doula brain, they are in their strong mama brain or maybe staying outside their brain altogether.   I was 100% the mother of the new mommy; in my mothering skin.  Yes, the whole woman, with her life experience as a birth doula, as a woman who has given birth, was fully present. But I was a mom. First.  Always.

This is just bits and pieces of what actually happened. Nancy Phillips and Joe Phillips were there and have their story.  Matthew has his memories.  We all have our version of the time around Matthew’s birth day, the day Michael became a daddy, the day my baby girl became a mommy. This is one version – my version. Happy Birthday Matthew! Love, Gamma Rosie

  

A newborn babe brings

light to the cottage,

Warmth to the hearth

And joy to the soul,

For wealth is family,

And family is wealth.

Connection

Brené Brown: The power of vulnerability

Let her words soak in, ponder them. I love a good speaker. The second time I listened I began to understand why these words resonate with me.

God. He is the reason that I believe I am worthy of love and belonging. He revealed and healed my broken heart and wholeheartedly loves me. It's a daily thing. Therefore I can be vulnerable. Or try to be.

So what was I saying? Jeez how the mind wanders! Oh yes, As I listened to Brene again, Bible verses came to mind, confirming and reinforcing some of what she shared. I think Jesus was a very vulnerable man.

I hope you will listen a couple of times and let me know if this rings true for you too.

I drafted this two years ago, sometime in 2010. Today I thought, "Damn, this is still good stuff."

Is it just me? Am I weird?


What do you think?

Yes! [smiling]

My Son is Wed - A Family is Born

I remember the day he was born.

I remember the day they met.

And now I'll forever remember the day they wed.

Austin Paul and Vanessa Rae said vows on Saturday, April 21, 2012

The sun shined for them. The days before and after were stormy, rainy days but their wedding day was warm ~ perfect.

Our friend, Beki Dawn was the photographer. Here you can see the flavor of  the day, "Our Day of Love".

Pastor Dennis Keating officiated in a fun and touching way. God's handprint was everywhere.

Thank you God.

Congratulations to Austin & Vanessa. I love you. -Mom

~ ♥ • ♥ • ♥ ~

Genesis 29:20
So Jacob worked seven years to pay for Rachel. But his love for her was so strong that it seemed to him but a few days.

Song of Solomon 2:16
My lover is mine, and I am his.

Proverbs 30:18-19There are three things that amaze me—
no, four things that I don’t understand:
how an eagle glides through the sky,
how a snake slithers on a rock,
how a ship navigates the ocean,
how a man loves a woman.

Sometimes Everyone Needs A Doula

...or Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Every New Years Day I do a hike with my boyfriend, Craig. This year we decided to drive in the Rancho Bernardo neighborhood that spits us out onto a fireroad that leads to hills and large rock formations the southwest side of Lake Hodges. Our regular hike/walk is on two trails on the northeast side of the lake. I always have been intrigued by the steep hills 'across the water'. It's that hill where the mysterious lone house sits, between the I-15 and Del Dios Highway.

The path became boring so we headed up a ravine towards the rocks, towards the top of the hill. It was fun, steep but fun. We stopped often to appreciate the view (and catch our breath). The walk became a climb towards the top...foothold, handhold, foothold, etc. Then I realized I couldn't do the last bit, I was too tired. I was stuck high on a boulder with no way out! I could not go down and I could not go forward.

This realization was quickly followed by fear. "Call 911" ran through my head. Thank goodness I always carry my cell phone (even though we're often out of service area).

By now you are asking yourself, how does this story have anything to do with birth. Here we go : ) ...Labor is often explained as "picture yourself climbing a steep hill", at first you can chat and enjoy the scenery. After laboring (hiking) for awhile you need to concentrate on your breathing and stop for frequent drinks of water. After awhile longer you might be audibly breathing and complaining to your hiking, i mean, labor partner. Soon you learn that complaining doesn't help so you forge ahead and think about the finish line - meeting your baby! In labor some people sing about their favorite things (as in Mary Poppins ) or rock out with their Ipod. Some women just sway with the music. Still other women pray. That is what I did in my predicament on the rock. It's also often what I do at birth. I pray when I am with women that are birthing. I pray to Jesus. Other doula friends chant to their gods. Birth is a spiritual experience.

Towards the end of labor some women will do just what i did on my mountain hike, become fearful, give up, run out of energy. What now? Call 911? Nope. If you have a good labor coach or doula they will say the right things to help alleviate your fears. Once you calm down and relax your birthing muscles birth happens with a lot less pain. Sometimes you need more than a calm voice. My hiking partner (and life partner), Craig, had to use a stern voice with me. I was panicked. When he got through to me and I made the conscious decision to trust him. He lead me out of my dilemma, onto solid ground. I felt like kissing the ground!

One part of my experience that is common to laboring mommies is that I was 'In My Head', spinning worst case scenario, the 'what if' kind. What if I fall and twist my ankle or break my back or get head injury or die... See where my head took me? Spiraling out of control were my thoughts followed by my fears and my pain, powerlessness, and finally surrender. Ahhh sweet surrender (more on that below).

I usually am very comfortable climbing and hiking miles off the trail in unknown territory (Birth is unknown territory for many). But those spinning stories further paralysed me and my natural instincts and intuition went out the door. This commonly happens to women in childbirth. You may have heard your midwife or doula say, Let Your Monkey Do It. Ina May Gaskin wrote about letting your monkey do it in Spiritual Midwifery. Another way to say it is "Stay out of your brain" during labor. This is a challenge in a hospital full of strangers asking questions and technology beeping away. Birthing From Within training taught me a Non Focused Awareness practice that works great in many life's circumstances but especially labor. I was practicing NFA early on - staying in the moment - feeling the breeze, sun, sweat, listening to every sound and smelling the weeds, wildflowers...but in my panicked state I did not practice NFA on the hardest part of my hike. I needed a coach to talk me through each step back to safe ground. That is what a birth doula does.

So I surrendered to my hiking partner's directions and got myself to safety. I surrendered to the helplessness of my situtation. This is not a bad time to surrender. In our society surrender is a horrible thing. We need to be strong! right? Well sometimes folks we just need to let go. In Birth and on the Rock I let go. I remember when I was stuck for what seemed to be hours at 7 centimeters while having my last baby at home. My midwife said (oh so sweetly), "You appear to be thrashing, try to stay quietly still and let that energy go to the contraction" or something to that effect. In my brain I thought "F- - - YOU!" But in my body I trusted her and did exactly as directed. I went to complete or 10 centimeters instantly! And met my baby soon after.

On the rock, I was holding on to a ledge for dear life. My partner sternly told me to "let go" and "grab my hand". Are you kidding me! I brain thought, "No way am I letting go of this rock ledge". It was all I knew, it was solid. I had visions of me pulling Craig down the abyss with me. But in my body I did exactly as my trusted loving partner directed and landed on solid ground!

Its scary to let go. Be brave. Birth Blessings, Rosie

Picture above is the rock I got stuck on and here I am before the hard part of the hike.

Breastfeeding Baby Jesus

Merry Christmas & Happy New Years to you, my mommy friends and your babies, you daddy's and my extended virtual family! Did you see this beautiful video, Breastfeeding Baby Jesus? I found it on Danelle Frisbie's blog. Thanks Danelle.

Here's my immediate family Christmas Day photo.

I enjoyed a lovely traditional Christmas eve with in-laws, Christmas morning with our grown kids and Christmas afternoon with my sisters, brothers, mom, etc.(see photo)

I've been shopping for a new camera for me to take to births. I've become very interested in photography...technology has made it amazingly easy for us to shoot, download and share the magical moments of our lives! You have inspired me in this area. What's a blog without the apropos photos?

It makes me laugh still that I took these next photos on Christmas when I should have been wrapping the final gifts, starting Christmas breakfast or a thousand other things. But these are the things that make my Christmas, the traditions and memories of Christmas's gone by. First is my sugar cookies, then an ornament that my son, Doug, made when he was in kindergarten. I also took a pic of the ornament that my sister, Becki, made with buttons from my grandma's button tin, the Christmas after she'd passed away. The photo of the cute coffee mugs remind me of Christmas Eve at my MIL's.

This is my world. ...When I'm being a mom, daughter, sister and not being a doula. I love each of those names. I love being me.

A baby girl came to a lovely family on the Tuesday before Christmas. On 12/22 at 12:21PM weighing 7lbs. 1oz. I was the Doula. She was born by c-section. Maybe her cord was wrapped too tightly around her shoulder. Most of the time cords, umbilical cords, can wrap and knot and there is no problem. This time there was (fetal heart decelerations). It was an honor to meet this baby girl and her mom and dad. Two days before she was born she was breech (head up). Her mom and dad and I met for a couple of hours and discussed both their goal for turning her and having a non-medicated vaginal delivery and the possibility of c-section. Ultimately she was easily turned head down by doc (external cephalic version).
Since this couple loves to travel, and by loves I mean travels ALOT! I explained the upcoming birth and the two very different possible scenarios like this.
"Suppose you have planned to travel to Holland. You have studied the country, the language, and are excited about seeing the tulips, buying wooden shoes, etc. You pack your bags for the climate that's been forecasted. But when the plane lands and you get off you are in Singapore. Of course you are disappointed at first, you didn't pack for the climate, you have no sight seeing agenda, Argh! But then you remember that you are still on vacation and still on an adventure of a life time. So you take a moment to tantrum or sulk or cry but not to long since your distracted by the sights of the city calling you, and the smells of the food and Oh! The night safari leaves soon! As I often have said, "Life is Birth and Birth is Life. Just keep living life until you feel the urge to push" ...or baby tells you something different."

When I saw the new family one day postpartum, mom was recovering nicely, dad was running around, as should be and baby was nursing. Well she looked like she was nursing. She latched on in the operating recovery room. But now she looked like she was chewing, playing at nipple...we did a couple of re-latches and mom noticed the difference. Mom is an elephant trainer at WAP so she's a naturally intuitive animal! Sure enough, I spoke to the new mommy this morning, milk is in! Baby is gaining weight - hooray!

We've made full circle here now from baby Jesus breastfeeding to this precious baby girl 'breastfeeding'...

Til next year, love & peace, Rosie

What is your most treasured memory?

For my sister doulas, for anyone attending birth, this article by Jan Tritten will ring true. My most treasured memory is of Austin's birth, my second born. As a doula I have more than my share of sweet memories of happy birth days, I'm blessed that way. I will always remember the births of Gavin, Victoria, Alexander, Michael, Sophia, Azuree, Levi, Macy, Simone, Makai, Violette, Owen, Gianna, Jade, Cole, Linus, Titus, Jackson, Nadia, Kyra, Will, Paloma, Diego, Donovan, and Pippa Blue, Nadia, Rhianna, Luke...!

In the story linked above the author treasures most her home birth. And I too treasure my son, Doug's homebirth. But Austin was born in a hospital! So what makes it my most treasured memory?

10-28-77 I gave birth to Andrea Dawn in the dawn of the morning, eight hours after arriving at Salida Hospital in Colorado. In those days the protocol was to shave the laboring woman's pubic hair, give her an enema, demerol, and pull baby out with forceps. Childbirth classes did not prepare me for this! To add insult to injury the nurse gave me a pill instead of my baby when she found me crying in my postpartum suite! Can you blieve it - Mommies and Babies use to be separated!!

Two years later 10-28-79 I gave birth to Austin. The difference was that I prepared for a homebirth. I never found a midwife in those Colorado Mountains and although in the end I gave birth in the same hospital, I felt prepared to catch my own baby (UC). I found Ina May Gaskin's book, Spiritual Midwifery and Suzanne Arms book, Immaculate Deception more than self help books, these books changed my life! During my pregnancy with Austin I also read everything by Grantly Dick-Read, Birth Without Violence by Frederick Leboyer and Husband Coached Childbirth by Robert Bradley.

Austin was two weeks late which prepared me spiritually. Anyone who's been there knows waiting tested my patience and sanity : ) I walked every morning straight up a Colorado Rocky Mountain (Harvard to be exact)! I walked under the golden aspens and blue Colorado sky and I prayed. I was in between homes and staying with my girl friend, Kristen. The sisterhood we shared played a very significant part in my overall wellbeing and the actual birth.

My husband was working out of town when I woke up in labor at 3AM on 10-28-79. My girl friend and her husband had just gotten home from a late dinner party. I got into the shower. Oh it was so comfortable there! I could'a stayed there forever but I felt pressure building - instincts kicked in. We had a 45 minute drive to the hospital and we needed to stop for gas. I remember that gas station well! To stay relaxed I rolled my head and shoulders ensuring there was no tension there. It felt great staying loose I could feel my body open, but I probably looked like Rocky Balboa staying loose before a fight.

We arrived at the Salida Hospital at 5:30AM. The red headed male nurse who admitted me said I was 10 centimeters dilated. Then he quite nervously said, "I've never caught a baby before". but Dr. Leonardi got there just in time to catch. They did not have time to shave me, give me an enema or take my 8 lb. 14 oz baby by forceps (they still did an episiotomy). It was such a quick and comfortable birth! I was euphoric and in love with my baby and with life!

My girlfriend was 'allowed' in delivery with me. This was very special for her since her two boys were born by cesarean section and she really wanted to witness a natural birth. Many years later, after I'd been a doula even, I realized that my girlfriend, Kristen Kaiser, was my doula at Austin's birth! Thank you Kristen : D

How important birth is to women!

Technology in Childbirth - A Fathers Day to Remember

What type of technology is safe for childbirth? If you know me, you know that I question even vaginal exams. Less technology usually means better experience for moms and better outcome for moms and babies. So how could I have recently been swayed into the world of technology!? Yup, its true. Here's how it happened.

I've been the doula twice for this family. Mom and I are more than doula and client, we are friends. Her pregnancy passes uneventfully. We exchange a few emails. She is due end of June but has late babies. I start getting text on my cell phone and we meet for lunch late May. I get more text and I visit the family first week in June. It is a lovely Sunday for a prenatal meeting and lunch with the family. I realize from our face-to-face time that Mom is way-to-busy to have a baby. We talk about going on early maternity leave from work. Then we exchanged more text about slowing down and taking her leave. I learn on facebook and texting that she will go on leave - YAY! Maternity leave starts June 11.

June 13...text reads, "today might be the day, backache, braxton hicks, natural cleansing...". Then, "breaking out the smart water just in case". The cell phone texts start to pick up. Often many times a day we are texting back and forth. Mom experiences a lot of prelabor, one time it turned out to be the flu. Then just when we thought it was real labor her little ones get really sick and labor stops. After all, Mom is needed to clean up barf and pick up meds and make runs to pediatrician. Again, no time to have a baby! Argh.
After June 18th appointment with OBGYN text reads, "...80% effaced, bulging bag of water, lost mucos plug..."

We text some more. One night I sleep through a text that says, "contractions went from 10 to 5 to 3 minutes apart, can't sleep..." I call and get a real live person. "Please call me if it's the real thing...texting is great but please call me when you are in labor."

On Saturday, June 20, Mom gets some bloody show and CALLS me to ask if she should go to Fathers Day barbecue. "Yeah" unless you are too tired. The great thing about family barbecues are that the little ones will be loved, fed and entertained and then tired when they get home. Bloody show does not mean a woman is in labor, it's yet another sign that labor is close. Mom texts me when they are home from bbq, "Home now. Putting boys to bed. Getting hard to walk thru contraction. Hoping quiet and tub will get it going. Stronger but don't last long. Getting a little closer than earlier." Then, "More bloody show". I expected to get a call in the middle of the night. I kept my cell on loud and close to me. Then on Fathers Day, June 21 at 6:37AM I get A TEXT! "Getting really tired of this. I'm in pain and tired...starting to cry." All I read is "cry". I text her back, "I'll be right there". She texts me back, "OK".

It was a beautiful birth! After breakfast (made by Dad on Fathers Day) we walked 2.5 miles. Labor changed, contractions were getting longer. Mom got into her big deep tub (like she always does). Dad took the boys to aunties house and got home just in time to drive mom to hospital. She arrived there at 12:30PM completely dilated. Baby was born at 12:57PM.

My favorite part? Hmmm well that's a hard question.
1)Our walk where we talked about everything under the sun (literally). That's how babys position came up. Mom remembered that he had his hands by his face in the Ultrasound! We discussed how to juggle his nuchal hand out of the way and mom started walking with one foot on curb and one foot on street. We'd done some rebozo before our walk, which may have helped. On the way home from our hike I stopped the car at the bottom of the driveway where we could have a quiet moment of prayer.
2)Getting to the hospital and just being a witness to the miracle of birth. Dad and mom's love for each other and for their baby filled the room, maybe the world. They didn't need a doula, except to text her once in awhile : )

And that is how the technology of cell phone texting became an acceptable childbirth tool for me.

P.S. Mom later told me that she didn't think she was in real labor Sunday morning. When I texted her I was coming she thought, "How nice Rosie is coming to visit". Dad later told me that he didn't think she would've had the baby that day if I hadn't come. They just needed a little encouragement to let go, and have confidence in the process. A few doula tricks of the trade may have helped but we think it was prayer that helped mom relax most.

The Slow Life

Here is a Black Phobe that built a nest over our garage door. We enjoyed watching them feed their brood these last few weeks. The baby birds have flown the coop, left the nest. But we learned a lot about this bird and hope they come back to nest again.

Hiking Lake Hodges is one of our favorite pastimes. If you come to visit me you will most likely go on this walk with us. Here are some pictures of recent walks. Two are of me with my daughter, Andrea and our dogs, Sandy and Hank on the new walking bridge. While walking around the lake we have enjoyed seeing 10 baby ducklings swimming behind their mother, a roadrunner couple protecting their nest, chickmunks, lizards, hawks, and human families too! Here's a picture of Craig at our Temecula wine country visit a couple of weeks ago, the vineyards are beautiful, aren't they!

Calendars Sentimental Memories and Birth (of course!)

Does anyone else hang on to old calendars?

I love to reminisce as I read and reread the scribbled notes on my 2008 calendar. My old calendar is full of appointments, birthdays, trips, births, due dates, anniversaries, special events, etc. The planning, anticipation of each event involves an emotional investment of myself and as I remember each one the emotions come flooding back. I also like to read other people's calendars. My mom's is so much fuller than mine; she is a super amazing, energetic, ball of fire!

I put all my scribbles on the calendar that is on my refrigerator so that family members coming and going are in the loop. The guest bedroom calendar was blank, beautiful but blank so I had no qualms about tossing it (scriptures and all).

Here at work I starting really reading my calendar from last year and guess what, it has some great stuff! Every month had a Successories motivational quote.

For instance, December's theme was CHANGE. Can you see how that relates to pregnancy, labor and birth? Here is what it said, "Recognize that life is in constant motion and every change happens for a reason".

November's theme was CHOICE. Success is not reached by chance, it is reached by choice. Midwifes, homebirthing families, doulas know well how this relates to birth. If a woman is even somewhat healthy and she wants a natural birth, an unmedicated birth with little to no intervention, or maybe an ecstatic birth she will find out that she has the option to birth at home. Will she be successful in her vision and birth wishes? It's her choice.

I love what October says about VISION, Advance confidently in the direction of your dreams and endeavor to live the life you have imagined!

September is a really great mantra for pregnancy and labor (and life)! STAY IN THE RACE - Be the one who sets the course, focusing on the right things at the right time. Pregnancy is a good time to "focus on the right things at the right time! Read (focus on) positive birth stories not negative birth stories. During labor focus on your body, the air you breath, your baby, relaxing every fiber of every muscle as well as you can (big time focus!), like the non focused awareness that your Birthing From Within mentor taught you. Focus on the present moment and do not be cerebral, thinking thoughts like, "What is he thinking?", "How dilated am I?", "how much longer will I labor?" These thoughts are not staying in the moment. "I feel the warm sun coming in the window", "I hear my helpers breathing with me", "I hear my own breathing", "I see the light through the crack in the door", "I feel my baby move". Focus without judgment will allow you to 'stay the race' or the 'course' and experience your power like never before.

All this from a calendar! We can really see where our hearts are by our interpretation of our tangible world each day - eh? My heart is with you, my friend, woman-with-child or mommy-to-many.

Lastly I would like to share something that I found a couple of years ago and again recently. It rings true so deeply in my heart. I’m like, "What?" "Somebody else feels what I feel?" "How could they have put my tortured mind at rest so completely in one sentence?" Good day, Rosie

"...be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves... Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now."

Rainer Maria Rilke

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am thankful for my family; my kids, my parents, my sisters and brothers, my nieces and nephews...

Here is my mom and her 15 grandchildren getting ready for a photo shoot.

I am thankful for the family and friends I was able to meet and visit on our Victoria, Vancouver, Washington trip last Spring!...

I am thankful that Craig booked that cruise...

I am thankful for the beauty all around me everyday and the God who created it. Thank you God for my health, the day we took this hike at Palomar Mountain, my ability to see it, smell it, touch it and the technology to film it!...

And I am thankful for God's direction and presence at each birth I attend...birth another of God's perfect designs; a natural, powerful and beautifully creative process!
In the photos below loving and supportive hands comfort the mom during labor. Then the mothers loving, comforting hands in turn reach for her new baby. It is a circle of love. The way babies are born and welcomed into the world makes a difference. I Thank God for calling me to this work. It is truly a blessing and an honor.

These women in labor are Kellee, Robin and Stephanie.